A Tale of Too Many Rikus
by The Minamotos
Summary: After an unfortunate mishap with a mysterious cloning machine, Sora, with the help of his friends-lackeys, sets off on an epic journey to save his best bud Riku. Only one problem: which Riku? -COMPLETE-
1. Chapter 1

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter One**

Mary the fangirl stood in her basement and admired her work. It had only taken two days, during which she lived off of nothing but Mountain Dew, to build the monstrous machine that now stood before her. Grinning like a madman (woman), Mary was just about to pull a large and bright red switch when someone called her name from behind her, smashing her concentration into little tiny pieces.

The fangirl turned to face her best friend and fellow fangirl, Sue, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking confused.

"What is that, Mary?" Sue asked, pointing to the machine.

Mary grabbed her friends arm and pulled her towards the machine. "This, my friend, is a Riku Cloning Machine," she waved her hand at said machine.

Sue tilted her head to one side. "What does it do?"

Mary resisted the urge to smack her friend. "It's a **Riku Cloning Machine**. It **clones Riku**." She said slowly.

"Wow!" Sue clapped her hands in delight. "Where did you get it??"

"Internet." Mary said simply, which worked for Sue. Mary then continued: "See, what I'll do is tinker with his mind until he falls in love with **me**, and then bring the clone to life!" Mary laughed insanely as lightning lit up the sky outside. Sue giggled nervously.

Mary then led the way to a large computer, which was connected by several brightly colored wires to the Riku Cloning Machine. She turned it on and, after playing a catchy little jingle that would remain in Sue's head for several hours, the screen flickered to life. It displayed a list of several Kingdom Hearts characters (several meaning all).

Mary eagerly flipped through the list. Several minutes later, she came to a halt somewhere in the T's as she realized that she wasn't on the list.

"Looks like you're not on the list..." Sue commented. This time Mary really did smack her.

"Stupid eBay!" Mary growled, clenching her fist. "They always leave out the important details. Like Riku only getting paired with real Kingdom Hearts characters!"

Sue patted her friends shoulder gently. "Don't worry about it, Mary. You'll just have to find another way to marry Riku. Even though if he did come to life, he would totally fall for me."

"Would not!" Mary shouted, springing to her feet. "He would so totally fall in love with me!"

"Me!" Sue yelled.

"Me!" Mary screamed.

"That's it!" With a fangirlish roar, Sue tackled her friend to the ground. They rolled around the basement floor, kicking and biting and scratching and punching and yelling. Mostly yelling.

It was several minutes before they finally stood up with the promise to finish this once Mary had gotten some real food to eat. As they started up the stairs, neither of them noticed a bright red switch on the Riku Cloning Machine, which had been switched from 'off' to 'on'.

The machine _harrumph_ed to life. After a few noisy, smoke-belching minutes, the entire basement was thick with steam and smog, so that it was hard to see a figure step out of the machine and climb out the window...

--

Later, somewhere else, Sora was sitting on his butt in the middle of a huge field of grass talking with his ol' buddy Riku on AIM. He had just landed an awesome "your momma" joke on his buddy, and was waiting for a reply.

**Keyblademastah44: **Dood, lyk, ur mom's fat.

Sora couldn't wait for Riku's answer. A few seconds later, he was surprised by the white-head's reply.

**ChickMagnet277: **Whoa, Sora! I just saw the weirdest thing outside my window!

Sora blinked. What kind of come-back was that?

**Keyblademastah44: **Wut up?

**ChickMagnet277: **I just saw this guy who looks just like me! omg, another one just walked by!

**Keyblademastah44: **??

Sora frowned and shifted his weight around slightly. What was going on over there (wherever Riku was)? He broke out of his thoughts when the computer binged, alerting him of Riku's reply.

**ChickMagnet277: **Listen to this, Sora. I just saw a bunch of guys who look exactly like me walk by, and one who looks mostly like me but kinda different. This is weird, dude.

Sora paused halfway through making a bunny on his computer.

**ChickMagnet277: **Whoa, it's like they're clones of me or something!

**Keyblademastah44: **? wut do u mean?

But Riku didn't reply. Even after Sora filled the entire page with question marks, Riku didn't say anything. Sora angrily asked whether he was being ignored, and finally signed off in frustration. After a minute, he signed back on and apologized. Riku still didn't answer, and Sora was (finally) starting to get worried.

"What if something terrible happened to him?" Sora asked no one in particular (the field was quite empty). "What if he was kidnapped by Heartless? What if he fell off a cliff? Or what if..." Sora clutched his hands together, terrified. "What if clones with messed up hormones kidnapped him, strapped him to a rocket, and blasted him clear to another world??"

Sora hesitated a moment before bursting into laughter. "Naw. There's no way that could'a happened."

Somewhere far, far away, Riku was sailing through the skies, strapped to a rocket.

"Still," Sora decided. "Something must be wrong. I'd better go find him and help him out!" With that decision made, Sora informed his buddy list that he was 'away' before hoisting the Keyblade over his shoulder and starting off on his journey to find, and hopefully save, Riku.

Little did he know what horrors awaited him along the journey.

--

In case you haven't guessed yet; a collab by the Minamoto sisters (that's us). This chapter was written by Mandi (that's me).

WARNING: NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

Especially for all you Riku fans.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Two**

"Hey Kairi!" Sora said waving to his friend.

"You totally killed Ansem!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Yup, several times why?"

Kairi gave Sora a good hard slap across the face.

"Owwww! What was that for?" Sora whined.

"How could you kill him?! I LOVED him, idiot!" Kairi said throwing numerous things at Sora, which included sand, sea shells, and a Cuban guy by the name of Wakka, a broken bottle, and a boot.

Sora ran away crying like the dork he was. He decided to avoid Kairi for awhile.

"Hey Tidus." Sora said approaching his buddy cautiously.

Tidus stopped whacking the air in front of him with his stick, and turned around. "Hey Sora! Where've you been?" Tidus said.

"Uhh, Tidus, you aren't mad at me for any reason are you?" Sora asked.

"Uhh, no why?"

"Just wondering. Umm, say have you seen Riku around lately?"

"Oh yeah! He's over there." Tidus pointed to Riku, sitting on his favorite Paopu fruit tree.

"Umm, 'kay thanks." Sora said, and walked on over to his friend, Riku.

"Hey Riku! What happened? Why did you stop posting on IM?" Sora asked, walking up to Riku.

Riku turned around to face Sora.

"Bonjouer, Sora!" Riku said all French-like.

"Whoa! Riku! Something's different about you!" Sora said rubbing his chin. "Did you change your hair?"

"Paler vous frances?" Riku asked, cocking his head.

"Hey Riku? What's that black thing on your face?" Sora asked pointing at Riku's face.

Riku stroked the 'black thing' under his nose. It was a big and black handlebar moustache.

"Yeah, well anyway, I thought something bad happened to you. So I got Donald, Goofy, Chip and Dale to bring me on over here on the Gummi ship. It was INTENSE!!!" Sora said waving is arms around.

It had been a crazy ride getting here. With thousands of heartless ships firing at them every which way, angry chickens flying at them, Paopu fruits hitting the windshield at the speed of sound, a giant squid attack, and - of course - flying dairy products... violent flying dairy products.

"So like, what happened? Why did you stop IMing me?" Sora asked Riku.

Riku started speaking a bunch of gibberish; gibberish known as French.

"Whoa, buddy! It's like you're speaking FRENCH, or something!" Sora said holding up his hands.

Riku didn't say anything.

Sora blinked. "Well," he said, "Since your not saying anything, I'll keep on talking. Oh my god! Riku, you totally should have seen me beat up Ansem! I like totally-"

"Did somebody say Ansem!?!!" A voice said from behind Sora.

"Yeah, yeah." Sora said waving his hand, "So anyways I was like totally beating on him and stuff, then suddenly-"

"You beat up Ansem?!?!" The guy standing behind Sora exclaimed.

"Yeah, several times in fact!" Sora stated proudly. He turned around to see who he was talking to. But once he turned around he was slapped, hard, by an angry...Riku?

"Owww!" Sora rubbed his face, slapped twice in the same day.

"Sora you idiot! I-" Riku began.

"OH MY GAWD!!!!" Sora exclaimed. "RIKU!!! WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR HANDLEBAR MOSTACHE!?!!!??"

"What? Handlebar moustache? Why would I have one of those? But anyways, I loved-" Riku started but was once again interrupted by Sora.

"Umm, yeah you did. You totally had a-"

"Sora, shut up! I was going to say that I LOVED Ansem!" Riku shouted.

"You WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!? Dude, Kairi is totally going to kill you. I mean she is totally in love with Ansem, and well you know how she gets. Hey wait a minute! Riku, I thought you were straight!" Sora was shocked.

"What? Kairi is in love with Ansem? But he is totally MINE!!" Riku pointed to himself, then stormed off to find Kairi, and 'knock some sense' in to her.

"Oooooooooookay then." Sora said as he turned around, only to face handlebar moustache Riku again.

"Whoa Riku! You got your handlebar moustache back!" Sora held his hand in front of his mouth in surprise.

Riku started speaking the gibberish known as French once again.

"Riku, something's weird..." Sora said looking around.

Just then someone totally tackled Sora.

"OH MY GAWD!!!" Sora exclaimed, looking up at his 'attacker'.

--

Oooh, cliffhanger!

This chapter was written by Molly, by the way.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Three**

Somewhere far, far away, a certain fangirl whom we may or may not recognize wandered into her basement to find that her fifty thousand munny machine sputtering and sparking dangerously. She hurried to find the problem and, unable to solve it, threw her coffee against it which did a good job of putting out the fire, but left her without any caffeine.

Mary shook her head and groaned. "_Man_, I spend all that munny on this stupid machine and it doesn't even work?" She kicked it in frustration, which did nothing but give her a sore foot. She stopped cursing and shouting when she heard rather girlish laughter behind her. She spun around to give this guy a piece of her mind, but couldn't see anyone.

"Hello?" she called carefully. She leaned around the corner curiously and, as it happened, a mysterious someone chose that moment to attack. Mary didn't even have a chance to scream before she was knocked out cold.

--

Sora tried to shout something (perhaps another OMG, or maybe just scream for help), but was finding it difficult seeing as his attacker had caught him in a sort of bear hug and was squeezing the life out of him. Pressed between a somewhat familiar muscled chest and an increasingly familiar ground, Sora barley managed a muffled sort of gasp.

"What the fuck? Gerroff me, you-" Sora broke off when his attacker released him, and the Keyblade wielder was finally able to get a good look at him. "Waitaminute..."

"Sorachan!" Riku shouted, throwing his arms out and pulling Sora into another bone-crushing hug. "Oh, Sora! I was so so so worried about you! I thought something terrible-werrible had happened to you."

Sora stared at Riku, horrified. "R-Riku? Are you... OK?" Suddenly, Sora realized what he had said. "Wait, if you're Riku, then..." he looked up at the Riku with the moustache, then back to the Riku who was gazing at him with starry eyes. Moustache Riku, starry-eyed Riku, moustache Riku, starry-eyed Riku... wait.

"Riku!" Sora suddenly shouted, leaping to his feet. "You guys aren't the real Riku! Or, wait... are you? I'm so confused..."

"Aw, Sora," the moustache-less Riku stood up with him. He leaned close to Sora... a bit _too_ close. "You are so _cute_ when you're confused. Actually, you're always cute." Sora ignored him.

"And that other Riku, the one who went after Kairi, is he the real Riku?" Suddenly, Sora recalled the conversation he'd had with Riku over AIM not to long ago. "That's right! Riku said that there were a bunch of clones walking around. So you guys must be - Riku? What are you doing?"

While Sora was talking to himself, Riku had sidled closer and closer until he was practically sitting on the boy. He placed an arm seductively over Sora's shoulder and grinned. "Don't think so much, Sora. Just do..." he leaned his head towards Sora's until his nose brushed against the brunette's. "...what feels..." Sora felt sweat grow on his forehead. "...right..." Riku breathed before he gently pressed his lips against Sora's. There was a moment of silence. Then...

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU IDIOT???" Sora shoved Riku away and ran to hide behind moustache Riku, who had been watching from a distance looking mildly amused. From this safe hiding spot, Sora proceeded to flip gay Riku off while scrubbing at his mouth furiously.

"Soraaa..." Riku whined, trying to reach Sora who was careful to keep mustached Riku between them.

"Keep away, you fag!" Sora shouted. Still brandishing a rather confused mustached Riku before him, Sora resumed thinking aloud. "Ok, I'm pretty sure that guy wasn't the real Riku. I have to find the real Riku and get rid of all these fakes. But... which one is the real Riku?"

Sora flipped around mustached Riku to get a closer look at him and try to figure out whether he was real or not. He sure looked like the Riku he remembered, minus the moustache.

"Are you the real Riku?" he asked.

"Qual?" Moustache replied. Sora was about to repeat himself when gay Riku suddenly took advantage of his lack of attention and tried to kiss him again. Sora leapt into action. He shoved the Keyblade into gay Riku's stomach, then tore it out and started hacking away at his silver head.

"I-love-yoooou..." gay Riku gasped before he vanished in an explosion of silver sparkles. Sora gaped.

"He... disappeared?" He blinked and stared at the Keyblade for a second before a relieved grin spread across his face. "He's gone. Thank _God_. Man, what a freak, huh Riku?" Sora turned to mustached Riku, only to find that he had vanished. The Keyblade master shrugged. "OK, so now all I have to do is find the real Riku, and we can destroy all the clones together!"

Then, Sora ran home and brushed his teeth for ten straight minutes. After that, he grabbed a sandwich, swung the Keyblade over his shoulder, and his new quest officially began.

--

I want to apologize to all you Sora x Riku fans out there. –shot-

This chapter was written by Mandi.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Four**

"Uggg, my head." Mary groaned as she sat up.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're all right, Mary!" Sue said, as she hugged her friend.

"Get off of me!" Mary shouted, and after much pushing and shoving, Mary was finally able to get her friend off. "What the hell happened?"

"Well I came back over, to apologize, your mom said you were in the basement, so I came down, and...And..." Mary started sobbing.

"Get it together Sue!" Mary said shaking her friend.

"When I came down...the...the...The Riku Cloner was GONEEEEEEE!!!!" Sue wailed.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!!?!?!?!?!" Mary turned around, and saw that her friend was right! The Riku cloner was gone!

The two girls started to cry. After about half an hour, they decided to go ask Mary's mom if she had seen or heard anything suspicious.

"Welllll." Mary's mom said looking at the two girls, "A very girly man came in not to long ago, and asked if Mary was home. I figured Mary had finally got a boyfriend, so I told him you were down stairs. When he came back up he was carrying some big machine."

"The Riku Cloner!" Mary and Sue said at the same time.

Some where miles and miles away, Vexen was trying to figure out how to make the Riku Cloner work.

--

Sora walked along the beach looking for Kairi.

"Hey, Wakka?" Sora asked approaching his Cuban buddy.

"What is it, man?" Wakka asked in his Cuban accent.

"Have you seen Kairi?"

"She and Riku went over to the other side of the island." Wakka said.

"Kay, thanks Wakka." Sora said as he walked over to the other side of the island.

"Kairi, Riku?" Sora called.

"Sora helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp meeeeeeeeeee!!!" Kairi said jumping behind Sora.

"What's wrong Kairi?" Sora asked.

"Me and Riku were fighting over Ansem, then...then...Riku started making out with me!!! It was sooooooooooooooo gross!!!" Kairi started to cry, "My first kiss was supposed to be shared with Ansem, not Riku!!!!"

"Ummm well..." Sora stuttered.

"Go beat him up Sora!!" Kairi said pushing Sora over.

"But I-"

"Do it!!!" Kairi said giving him the scariest look she could.

"Okay, okay." Sora said and ran away, before Kairi had the chance to eat his brains.

Sora found two Rikus walking around looking utterly confused.

"Err, hey." Sora said walking up to both of the Rikus.

"Sora, you won't believe what happened! I was making out with Kairi, and then she slapped me and ran away!" One Riku said.

"And I didn't get to beat her up, 'cause this guy came in and started getting all lovey-dovey!" The other Riku said.

"Umm well, err." Sora searched for the right words.

"Sora, will you help me find Kairi? I want to apologize, and be alone with her for a while." One Riku said.

"You'll have to wait till after I make it clear to her that Ansem is totally mine!" The other Riku said.

"Well umm, I-"

"Sora, don't listen to him! Take me to Kairi please!"

"No, take me to Kairi!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"Sora!"

"Sora!"

"GRAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Sora yelled in frustration, and in one swift movement he cleanly sliced off both of the Riku's heads. And both the Rikus, and their heads, vanished in a puff of sliver smoke.

"Oooookay, I hope neither one of them were the real Riku..." Sora said. Then he walked off to tell Kairi the good news.

--

Written by Molly with love. Pfft.


	5. Chapter 5

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Five**

"Well, Kairi," Sora said a few minutes later to his redheaded friend. "I've got good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?" Kairi asked.

"The good news is that I've already destroyed three Rikus." Sora grinned proudly, unaware of Kairi's confused look. "The bad news is that I now have to embark on a dangerous quest through many different worlds to find the real Riku and defeat all of the clones. I may never see you again, but I know that our hearts... Kairi? Are you listening?"

Kairi was not listening. She was, in fact, thinking about how sexy Ansem would look in a Speedo. Still, she nodded and let Sora continue with his speech. Several minutes later, Sora left, and Kairi was free to stare at her picture of Ansem in peace.

Sora, meanwhile, was searching for the Gummi Ship. He wandered around Destiny Islands for quite a while before he finally found himself in the shadow of the cartoon-y vessel, which floated about twenty feet above his head.

"Beam me up, Biscotti!" Sora shouted. A door opened on the bottom of the ship and Donald Duck threw a ladder down to the Keyblade master. Sora scurried up into the ship.

"Sora!" Donald cried as soon as the teen had shut the door behind him. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"You think I'm a deer?" Sora repeated, confused. He had always had trouble understanding Donald's accent.

Donald sighed. "Go do something about your friend!" he shouted.

"My friend?" Sora asked. "You mean... Aladdin?"

The poor brunette was smacked several times with Donald's staff. "No, you big palooka! Riku! He's in the back room and he's... doing strange things." The duck shivered. Sora pulled out his Keyblade, prepared for the worst, and slowly walked to the back area of the ship. He glanced back at Donald, who nodded, before he grabbed the door handle and threw the door open.

And there he was met with the strangest situation in his young life.

Riku was straddled on Goofy's waist, and the dog's large mouth was pressed firmly against Riku's smaller one. They quickly broke apart when Sora gave a cry of disgust.

"Gawrsh, Sora! You scared us, y'know!" Goofy said in his usual drawl.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??" Sora screamed. Behind him, Donald gave another shudder.

"Sora," Said Riku. "Why didn't you ever introduce me to this lovely specimen of man?" He turned back go Goofy and cuddled with him for a minute, while the dog giggled nervously.

"Gawrsh."

"Riku! What is the matter with you??" Sora reached down and pulled his friend off of... his other friend. "Goofy's... well, a dog! And a male dog at that!"

Riku gave a sort of squeaky wail and pushed Sora away. He fell back onto Goofy's lap and started stroking the dog's large nose fondly. "I don't care what he is. He's smart, and kind, and sensitive, and he's not afraid to let his feelings show."

"Gawrsh." Said Goofy.

"I love you, Goofy!" Riku cried before he tackled the knight and started making out with him.

Sora, who was already scarred for life, gave a wild sort of battle shriek and, clutching his tainted eyes, kicked Riku as hard as he could. With a small _oomph_, Riku fell off his 'lover' and onto the floor. Before he had a chance to do anything, Sora threw the Keyblade straight at his twisted silver head. Riku clone number four disappeared with a scream of fury and an explosion of silver sparkles.

"Gawrsh." Said Goofy.

"What just happened??" Donald shouted. He bounced into the room and rapped his staff against Goofy's head. Hard.

"Well," Sora began, putting the Keyblade aside for later use. "Y'see, I was talking to Riku on AIM, and then he said he got cloned. So I went to check it out, and then Riku grew a moustache! Then he spoke French, but then another one said he loved Ansem and went to fight Kairi. Then another one kissed me, so I killed him. Then I killed the one who loved Ansem, and another one who tried kissing Kairi. Then I brushed my teeth and headed over to the Gummi Ship and killed Riku because he was kissing Goofy, which was really weird. And so now I've got four Riku's killed, and I've gotta find Riku!"

Sora paused to catch his breath. His friends stared at him for a long time.

"Gawrsh." Goofy finally said.

"W-what are you talking about??" Donald cried.

"Can we have the condensed version, please?" Goofy asked.

"Condensed? Um..." Sora rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I've gotta kill all the fake Rikus and find the real Riku."

"But how can you tell if it's the real Riku or not??" Donald yelled. "How do you know that last Riku wasn't the real thing?"

Sora shrugged. "I don't. I'm kinda just swinging around blindly right now."

"Gawrsh." Goofy said.

"Well, we'd better get going!" the Keyblade wielder threw a fist in the air and headed for the control center of the ship. Donald slid into a seat beside him.

"Where to?" He asked. Sora thought about it for a moment.

"How's about... Traverse Town. That's always a good place to start!"

"Oh boy!" Goofy cried, throwing his arms around his two friends. "This sure is excitin'! Goin' on another adventure with my two best buddies!"

Donald and Sora both looked at Goofy, and then at each other. Neither could quite get the image of him kissing Riku out of their minds. At last, they sighed and pressed the Gummi Ship's large red "GO" button.

"To Traverse Town!" Goofy cried as the ship sped off into space.

--

This, right here? This chapter? _This_ is what we write for. _This_ is what keeps us going. Hope you enjoyed it.

Also, sorry this chapter took a while to pull up; we've been surprisingly busy for summer vacation.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Six**

"Good old Traverse Town!" Sora said as the landed in 'good old Traverse Town'.

"Gawrsh, where do ya think we should start looking for Riku?" Goofy asked.

"Hmmmm," Donald hmmed.

They all pondered this thought for awhile.

"I know! We can ask that chick that stands by the cafe!" Sora said.

"Excuse me-" Donald began as they walked up to the chick that stood by the cafe.

"I guess we found a Riku." Sora said happy this Riku wasn't as bad as the last.

"Ooooh Riku," The chick was saying as her and Riku made out.

"Excuse us," Sora said breaking up the two before Riku had the chance to take the chick's shirt off.

"Are you the real Riku?" Sora asked looking Riku in the eye.

"No! Wait, Yes! Wait..." Riku tapped his head in frustration. And with that Sora sliced the fake Riku's head off, and it disappeared in a cloud of silver smoke.

"What...wait...," The chick had a mix of confusion and sorrow as the fake Riku's body disappeared just as his head did.

"Come on guys," Sora said walking off with the Keyblade over his shoulder.

"Umm, Ok," Donald said as he and Goofy ran after Sora.

"Ya know what? I think I'm getting the hang of this-" Sora began as they walked into Cid's place. "HOLY CRUD!!!!"

"Cidsy-widsy!" Riku called trying to reach Cid, who was throwing chairs and accessories at him.

"Sora! Come help me beat up this poor confused kid!" Cid called to Sora.

"Umm, I don't think that's the real Riku do you?" Sora asked Donald.

"Of coarse its not!!" Donald said hitting the brunette on the head.

"Oww, okay okay, you don't have to hit me!" Sora said with a frown. "Don't worry Cid I'll save you!!"

Sora ran to the fake Riku, only to find that Cid had already beaten the crap out of him.

"Oh well that works I guess...But ummm why isn't he bursting out in to silver smoke?" Sora asked all confused-like.

"Maybe it's 'cause you didn't beat him up with the Keyblade?" Goofy suggested.

"Hmm, ya think?" Sora asked.

"Try using the Keyblade then!" Donald yelled.

"OK, I'll give a shot," Sora said with a shrug. And with that he sliced the mostly dead fake Riku in half, and both halves disappeared in silver smoke.

"Wow," Sora said happily, "Two Rikus in one chapter!"

"What...?" Cid asked more confused then he had ever been.

"Well..."Sora began, "See there are these Riku clones right? And apparently they all have messed up hormones. So I decided to go on a brave and perilous journey to defeat all the fake Rikus, and find the real Riku! And by killing that Riku that means I have killed...six Rikus!"

"Well, I have no idea what you are talking about, but-" Cid began.

"You're happy that we helped you and you want to give us a reward! Right?" Sora said with a sly smile.

"No, you didn't help me at all, but what I was going to say was-"

"Sora! I'm glad I caught you!" Leon said running in.

"What is it Leon?" Sora asked.

"It's your friend, Riku..."

"What about him?"

"He has fallen in love with...Yuffie." Leon said sadly.

Everyone gasped in shock.

"WHHHAAAAATTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!" Sora was shocked, "WHO THE HELL WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YUFFIE?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?"

"I know it's terrible..." Leon said with a gasp of pain.

"We have to go and help him!" Donald yelled.

"Right!" Goofy nodded, and with that Sora, Goofy, Leon, and Donald ran off to find Riku and Yuffie.

When they got there they were all surprised for many reasons.

"I can't believe Riku likes Yuffie," Donald said.

"I can't believe Yuffie likes Riku," Goofy said.

"I can't believe I have to see this," Leon said.

"I can't believe there is a flower patch in the middle of Traverse Town!" Sora said.

Yuffie and Riku were running toward each other through a patch of flowers, all in slow-mo, with a beautiful sunset behind them.

"Hey wait a minute!" Sora said accusingly, and Yuffie tackled Riku, and started making out with him. "How can there be a sunset?!?! I only one in the afternoon!" Sora pointed at his watch, which read; 1:29.

"Umm, well," Leon scratched his head searching for and answer...any answer really, like where the flower patch came from, why there was a sunset, why Riku would fall in love with Yuffie, or why the two were moving in slow-mo.

Everyone ponder for awhile, completely forgetting about Riku and Yuffie, who were in the middle of having sex...in the flower patch...Slow-mo sex in a flower patch...

"Hey wait a minute!" Donald yelled, "That can't be the real Riku!"

"Oh yeah! He must be one of them clones!" Goofy said.

"Oh...Oh Yeah! I totally forgot about those!" Sora said.

"How could you forget something like that?" Leon asked.

"Errrrm," Sora scratched his head searching for the answer.

"Sora, go get that fake Riku now! See, Yuffie's shirt is back on and Riku just pulled his pants back up!" Donald said pointing over to Riku and Yuffie.

"OK, here goes everything...err...Nothing!" Sora said plowing through the flower bed.

"Hey!" Sora said tapping the real Riku on the shoulder, "You're not the real Riku are you?"

"Huh? Of coarse I'm the real Riku! You are an idiot Sora." Riku said curtly.

Sora turned to his lackeys and Leon, they all shook their heads, and with that Sora sliced the fake Riku apart. And he disappeared in sliver smoke.

"What?!?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Yuffie cried and cried.

"Problem solved!" Sora said, wading his way through Yuffie's tears.

"Yes I suppose so, but Sora-" Leon began.

"You are an idiot!!!" Donald yelled, hitting the poor teen on the head.

"Owwww, what was that for?" Sora asked, rubbing his sore head.

"You could have asked that Riku where the real Riku was, but noo-Ooo! You had to go and kill him!" Donald yelled.

"Oh...never thought of that..." Sora said.

"Come on," Leon said, "We better get to higher ground; Yuffie's tears are flooding the town."

--

This chapter was written by Molly. It was submitted by Mandi, however, and she has to point out that she doesn't really mind Yuffie all that much. Just a heads up. X3


	7. Chapter 7

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Seven**

In a dark and mysterious basement in a dark and mysterious castle in a dark and mysterious world, a not so dark or mysterious man with long blonde hair was bent over a large machine that I hope everyone would recognize from previous chapters.

"There, that's better," he said, allowing himself a small smile as he stood up. Under the large red block letters which read "Riku Cloning Machine", he had scratched in pencil "by Vexen".

Behind him, a door was flung open, and the man threw down the pencil, reaching for a wrench instead. He busied himself with trying to look like he was busying himself with something, ignoring the very skinny man who had entered. There were a few minutes of silence, in which the redheaded newcomer started going through Blondie's stuff. At last, the older man turned around, brandishing the wrench and looking angry.

"Can I _help_ you?" He snapped, raising an eyebrow and waving the wrench in the redhead's direction.

Scrawny ignored the blonde. He pointed to the Riku Cloning Machine. "What the hell is that?" He asked.

Blondie sighed. "This, my friend, is a Riku Cloning Machine!"

Redhead scratched his chin thoughtfully. "What's it do?"

The older man threw the wrench at the younger, who ducked just in time. "What do you freaking think it does? It's a **Riku Cloner**. It **clones Riku**."

Skinny scratched his head where it had nearly been introduced to a flying wrench. "You mean that guy from the first game? With the butt-cape?" Long-hair nodded. "Did you build it yourself?"

"Of course I built it myself! Why do you ask?"

Redhead shrugged. "I thought I saw something like it on eBay."

Blonde stood in silence for several minutes, unsure of what to say. While he waited for an answer, Scrawny resumed searching through the older man's stuff.

"Did you just come down here to annoy me?" Blondie finally snapped.

"Nah, I'm playing hide-and-go-seek with Roxas," Redhead explained, still searching. "Have you seen him?"

Long-hair hmphed. "Don't you think I'd _notice _if someone entered my secret laboratory?" He put extra emphasis on 'secret', as if hinting that the younger man should get the hell out of it.

"Alright, alright, I'm leaving." Skinny held his hands up in defeat and left. As soon as the door had swung shut behind him, a messy-haired blonde head popped out of a crate on the other side of the room. He gave the older man a thumbs-up, which was returned, before he dropped back into his hiding place.

--

"Well," Sora said, several hours later, as he sat on a rooftop and watched the water slowly drain out of the First District. "I think we've gotten pretty much every Riku in town."

"Gawrsh, what makes ya think that?" Goof asked, swinging his feet over the edge of the roof.

Sora rested his hands behind his head and grinned. "Well, in the first ten minutes we were here, we found three Rikus. Don't you think if there were any more, we would've found them by now?"

"What about that one?" Donald asked, pointing out onto the water. Somewhere near the mailbox floated a boat, in which stood a familiar silver-haired teen.

"It's Riku!" Sora shouted, stating the painfully obvious. He stood up and waved. "Riku! HEY, RIKU!!"

The Riku in the boat turned around.

"What's that black thing on his face?" Donald asked.

"Oh, it's his handlebar moustache," Sora stated calmly.

"Bonjour, Sora!" called Riku. He waved and started rowing his boat towards the group.

Goofy scratched his head. "Gawrsh. What's he speakin', Mexican?"

Sora waved a hand. "No, silly. That's Canadian."

Leon, who had been comforting Yuffie somewhere in the Third District, walked up from behind them. He sat down; looking exhausted, and then sprung back up.

"Oh no!" He shouted, pointing at Riku. "It's Sephiroth!"

"Sephiroth? Naw, that's..." Sora froze when Leon whipped out his gun sword and started shooting at Riku. The mustached wonder screamed something in French, then jumped out of the boat and swam away. Leon continued shooting until his silver head disappeared into another District.

"That should take care of him, for now," Leon said, slinging the gun over his shoulder. "I wonder why he didn't pull that ridiculously long sword, though."

Sora, who had been staring at Leon, mouth agape, along with his friends, jumped to his feet. "Because that wasn't Sephiroth! That was Riku! Rikuuu!"

Leon blinked. "Oh."

Donald sighed and stood up. "Well, come on, guys. We should get going."

--

After several hours of Gummi Shipping, the terrific trio had come to the agreement that they should next head for Hollow Bastion. Why Hollow Bastion? Because a majority of the first game took place there. Duh.

So, there they were, sailing merrily along. Just then, an enormous Heartless ship appeared on the horizon.

"Gawrsh!" Said Goofy. "Look out there!"

"Where?" Sora asked, spinning his head back and forth wildly.

"THERE!" Donald shrieked, just as the Heartless ship blasted a hole clear through the ship.

"Oh, I see it." Sora nodded. Then he grabbed onto his seat to save himself from flying out into zero-gravity.

"Land somewhere!" Is what Sora would have screamed had he any air to do so with. Donald seemed to get the message, however, and pressed the "EMERGENCY LANDING" button. The wings on either side of the ship vanished, and it plummeted out of the sky.

After about a minute of freefalling, Sora found that he could breathe again. He filled up his lungs for a huge scream, but was interrupted by a rather sickening _CRASH_. The ship had landed.

"Gawrsh." Said Goofy, pulling his head out of the airbag. "Is everybody OK?"

"Where are we?" Donald asked, bending his beak back into shape.

Sora coughed out a mouthful of dry sand. "Monstro's belly, maybe?" He asked, unaware of the vast desert that stretched in all directions. Donald thwacked the teen over his slightly empty head.

"We must be in Agrabah!" he quacked, pointing at the blocky smudge to their left which was probably the city.

"Alright!" Sora jumped to his rather large feet and threw his hands in the air. He started running towards the smudge. "Come on, you guys! Let's go into the city and see Aladdin!"

"We need to fix the ship..." Goofy said, gesturing to the large hole melted through the middle of the Gummi Ship.

Donald, who was already trying to glue the ship pieces back together, barely looked up when he said, "Sora, you can go into town alone. See if you can find a Riku clone."

"Roger!" Sora saluted and took off.

"My name's Donald..." the duck mumbled.

"Gawrsh." Said Goofy.


	8. Chapter 8

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Eight**

"What are you doing down here?" The blonde snapped looking up from his book, as two people in black coats came down.

"We are helping Axel look for Roxas," one of them, a girl with short blond hair, said.

"Well, he already checked down here!" The girly blond said looking down at his book.

"Yeah, but Axel is stupid," the other, a guy with really cool blue hair, said, "What the hell are you reading?"

"None of your bees wax!" Blondie said turning.

"'How to use the Riku Cloner'? Why would you need and instruction manual for something you built?" Antennae-head girl asked.

"He didn't build it, Larxene," Blue head said shaking his head.

"Are you blind? Look, the machine says; 'Riku Cloning Machine By: Vexen'. What makes you think that he didn't make it?"

"I saw it on eBay," he said curtly.

"Well I umm, see...I-" Blondie began.

"What does it do, anyway?" The man asked.

"Gee, I don't know, it's a **Riku Cloning Machine**, so it might, oh I don't know, **clone Riku**!" The blondie said, hitting the dude on the head.

"Owww! You're so mean, Larxene!" The blue head, said rubbing his head.

"Well, Roxas isn't down here, let's go," the chick said, and she and the man walked back up the stairs.

"Wow, he had to get both Larxene **and** Zexion to help him find me!" A younger blond, said popping out of his hiding spot.

"You owe me," the girly man said.

----

"Hey Aladdin!" Sora called running over to his Arabian friend.

"Hey Sora," Aladdin said turning around, "What are you doing here?"

"Well ya see-Whoa! Aladdin, your pants are looking bigger than usual!" Sora said pointing to Aladdin's oversized pants.

"Well, you see I me-"

Just then a familiar silver head popped out of Aladdin's pant leg.

"Hi Sora!" Riku said. He would have waved, had he not have been in Aladdin's pants.

"Holy shit!!" Sora screamed, "How did he get in THERE?!?!"

"Well you see, I met him in the market and-" Aladdin began.

"It was love at first sight!" Riku finished.

"Wha-What about Jasmine? I thought you and her were lovebirds!" Sora exclaimed.

"Yeah, but that was before I met Riku here!" Aladdin said as Riku's head disappeared into his pants.

"OH. MY. GAWD." Sora said, and then ran back to Donald and Goofy.

"Guys! Guys! I saw a Riku clone!" Sora exclaimed as he ran over.

"What? Where?" Goofy asked, looking up from his work.

"In Aladdin's pants. Literally." Sora said.

"What do you mean?" Donald asked.

"He was riding around in Aladdin's pants!"

"Gawrsh!" Goofy said.

"That's gross," Donald said.

"Yeah, you guys need to come and see!" Sora said pointing towards town.

"Wait," Donald said, "You didn't kill him?"

"Well I… I thought that I should show you guys before I kill him!" Sora said defensively.

"Liar," Donald spat.

"Whatever, just come on!" Sora said.

"But we are not done with the Gummi Ship!" Goofy said.

"Then Donald can stay behind, and Goofy can come with me! Come on, Goofy!" And, before Donald could protest, Sora and Goofy ran into town.

--

"There he is!" Sora yelled, pointing to Aladdin, who was talking with Jasmine, "Get him!"

Sora and Goofy then tackled Aladdin.

"Goofy! Hold him down! I'll get Riku!" Sora said.

"Roger!" Goofy called, and within seconds Goofy had Aladdin pinned to the ground.

"GET OFF ME! GOOFY! SORA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?!?" Aladdin yelled, struggling against Goofy's grip.

"RIKU!?!" Sora called, kneeling down by Aladdin's pants, "RIKU, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!?!! RIKU, GET OUT OF THERE!!!! COME ON, RIKU!!!"

"SORA!!!" Aladdin yelled.

"What?"

"Riku isn't there anymore!" Aladdin said, still fighting against Goofy.

"What do you mean, he's not there anymore!"

"We just broke up," Aladdin said as Goofy got off of him.

"Huh?"

"I figured that I would rather have Jasmine than Riku." Aladdin stated, snuggling up against Jasmine.

"Oh Aladdin, that's so sweet!" She said.

"Well, where is he?!" Sora asked waving his arms around.

"I dumped him down on Market Street," Aladdin said.

"Come on, Goofy! We don't have anytime to waste!" Sora said, running down to Market Street. Goofy quickly followed.

"Look there he is!" Goofy said pointing, and sure enough, a few feet away a familiar silver head was crying his heart out.

"Riku-Whoa! You look like hell!" Sora said, running up to the Riku clone.

"Oh Sora! Aladdin broke up with me!!" Riku cried.

"Umm, sorry?" Sora said patting him on the back. Then Sora remembered that this was a Riku clone. Without hesitating, Sora jabbed his Keyblade into the fake Riku's head, and he disappeared in a cloud of silver sparkles.

"OK!" Sora said clapping his hands together. "I think Donald has fixed the Gummi Ship by now!"

"Right!" Goofy said jumping up, "Lets gooooo!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

About an hour later, the three friends were on their merry way to Hollow Bastion.

"So," Sora said, leaning back in his seat. "How many Riku's have we killed, now?"

"There's the four on Destiny Islands," Donald began.

"Three in Traverse Town," Goofy continued slowly.

"And one in Agrabah," Sora counted his fingers. "That's... eight all together!"

"Gawrsh," Goofy said proudly.

"Riku sure is gonna be happy when I tell him the good news." Sora giggled a bit, imagining the look on his best friend's face. Then, his face fell. "I sure wish I knew where he was..."

Just then, there was a flash of light outside the window. The three friends gathered around to look out, and saw an exceptionally small spaceship sail by. By squinting and tilting his head slightly to the left, Sora could make out the driver's face. And it was...

"Riku!" Sora cried, mashing his face up against the window.

Riku turned and grinned. "Salut, Sora!" He yelled through his moustache. "Comment vas-tu?"

"What's he sayin'?" Goofy asked.

"Hell if I know," Sora replied with a shrug. Then, he turned to wave at Riku. "Riku! Come land your ship on ours! We'll go to Hollow Bastion together!"

Riku blinked. "Je regrette, mais..." Suddenly, a light flashed in his ship. Riku poked a few buttons quickly, before he returned his frightened gaze to Sora and co.

"A Hollow Bastion!" He hollered, before his ship shot off into space.

Sora watched him go before turning to his lackeys. "Did anyone understand what the hell he was saying?"

Goofy's nose scrunched up in thought. "I think 'salut' means sausage..."

Donald shrugged. "Maybe we'll run into him in Hollow Bastion. Either way, that's where we're headed."

"Are we almost there??" Sora asked in a loud and impatient voice. Donald frowned.

"Almost..."

Silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"We'll get there when we get there, OK???"

--

"Hey, Xigbar!" the skinny redhead from Chapter Six scurried down a white hallway after a mysterious figure in black. "Xigbar!" He hollered again.

At last, the man heard him and turned around, tugging off his hood to reveal long graying hair and an eye patch. "Sup?" he asked in a casual drawl.

Scrawny paused a moment to catch his breath. "Have you seen Roxas anywhere? I've been looking for ages, but I can't find him!"

Patchy smirked. "Playing hide-and-go-seek again, are we? Haven't you learned, Axel? Roxas totally owns that game. Plus, you suck at it."

Redhead frowned. "Do not."

"Well, let's see," the older man tapped his chin, pretending to think. "Last time, if I recall correctly, you hid behind a potted plant."

Skinny didn't say anything.

"The time before that, you hid behind a lamp post. And, my personal favorite, before that, you-"

"OK, OK!" the younger man interrupted, waving his hands in the air. "So I'm not the best. Roxas isn't that great, either."

"How many people have you got looking for him?" Eye patch asked, placing a hand on his hip.

Redhead looked thoughtful. "Well, I've got numbers IX through XII, except Marluxia 'cause he's not here. And then I've got VII, VI, V... and if you help me, II." the skinny man counted his fingers. "So, that's..."

"Over half of the Organization." Patchy crossed his arms and smirked. "Face it, Axel. You suck."

Scrawny fumed quietly for a minute or so. Finally, he said, "So, are you gonna help me?"

"...fine."

--

At long last, Sora and Company arrived at Hollow Bastion. After landing their ship and covering it with leaves and branches (so the Heartless wouldn't find it), the trio made their way up to the enormous castle.

"Hey, look!" Sora shouted, pointing up the magically floating rocks to a figure standing at the top. "It's Cloud!"

They hurried up to the spiky-haired emo. He turned and gave them a bored look.

"Oh... hey." He said quietly.

"Hi, Cloud!" Sora said jumping around like a maniac. Cloud gave a long and loud sigh. Just then, Aerith ran up.

"Sora!" She cried, giving the brunette a big hug. "And Sora's lackeys!"

Donald frowned. Goofy said, "Gawrsh."

"So, what are you two doing here?" Sora asked, eyeing Cloud who was slowly inching away.

"Oh, we used to live here, remember?" Aerith smiled and gestured to the castle behind her. "We're fixing up the city over there."

"Gawrsh." Goofy said in awe. "So you an' Leon an' everyone are gonna move back here?"

"Uh huh!" Aerith nodded. Suddenly, she frowned. "Cloud...?" She spun around just in time to catch Cloud run for it. "GET BACK HERE!"

She tackled Cloud around the legs, and the pair tumbled to the ground in a flurry of limbs and pink hair ties. Using one arm to pin the blonde to the ground, Aerith sat up and straightened her hair.

"And just _where_ do you think _you're_ going?" she asked icily, readjusting her bow.

"I don't have time for this," Cloud grumbled, his voice slightly muffled as his face was still being pressed into the dirt. "I have to find my light."

Aerith frowned, then grabbed Cloud by his messy hair and slammed his head against the ground. Three times.

"You said you'd help me!" She whined after she'd released the swordsman's head. "We need to fix the city, and maybe we'll find your light in the process."

Cloud didn't say anything, but that might have been because he couldn't speak through the blood now pooled around his head.

"Uh, well, it was nice seeing you guys again!" Donald said in a very forced cheery voice. Then, he grabbed his friend's hands and dragged them away. They followed without hesitation, leaving Aerith to bash Cloud's head against something else.

--

Written by Mandi.

I think that Axel could get away with hiding behind a lamp post… if it weren't for his big girly hips.


	10. Chapter 10

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Ten**

"OK, so where does one find a Riku clone in Hollow Bastion?" Goofy asked as the trio searched.

"Let's see, if I were Riku where would I be?" Sora asked stroking his chin.

"Well we have to keep looking, I mean he's not just gonna fall from the sky!" Donald said.

Just then Riku fell from the sky and landed on top of Donald.

"Hey Sora!" Riku said waving; Sora waved back, "Boy that was a close one! I mean, that railing up there, it is not made for leaning against let me tell ya!"

At this point Donald would have screamed, 'I can't BREATHE!!!' if he could breathe.

"Riku! Is that really you?" Sora asked.

"What? No. Hey have you seen Riku around, he must be worried sick!" Fake Riku asked looking around.

"Wh-HUH???????!!!" Sora's jaw dropped.

"I better go look for him," Riku said standing up. Donald gasped for breath.

Just then another Riku fell from the sky and landed on Donald.

"Oww-Riku!!! I thought you had died!!!! Oh I'm so glad you're alive!!!" Riku said getting up and hugging fake Riku.

"Uhh, what's going on?" Goofy asked scratching his head.

"Err, I don't think either one of those are the real Riku..." Sora said shrugging. He pulled out his Keyblade about to attack.

"Wait Sora!" Donald gasped. "Before you kill them ask him where the real Riku is."

"Oh right! Good idea Donald!" Sora said giving the duck a thumbs up. Donald rolled his eyes.

"Al-HO SHIT!!!!!" Sora screamed, as the two Riku's made out.

"Umm, that's different," Goofy said scratching his head.

"That has got to be the weirdest pairing I have ever seen...Aside from Riku and Yuffie," Donald said.

"But what about..." Sora pointed to Goofy. Sora and Donald both shivered.

"What is it guys?" Goofy asked.

"Nothing," Sora and Donald both said at the same time.

"OK, time to take care of bui- Hey wait a minute! Where did they go!?!?!" Sora asked, pointing to the spot at which the two gay Riku's were.

"They must have made a run for it!" Donald yelled, "After them!"

And with that the trio ran into the castle.

"RikUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!??????" Sora called out.

"Shut up Sora! We don't want them to know we are chasing them!" Donald said hitting Sora's shin.

"Owww my shin!!!!" Sora whined holding his shin.

"Where do you think they would have gone?" Donald asked, as Sora, who was never good a balancing on one foot, fell over.

"Look there they are!" Goofy shouted pointing, and not to far away the two fake gay Rikus were making out.

"GRO-" Sora began, but Donald quickly covered his mouth.

"Sora you idiot! Don't you remember what I just told you?" Donald hissed.

Sora made a muffled noise, and then shook his head.

"Grah! Sora you are such and idiot!"

"Gawrsh," said Goofy.

Sora made another muffled sound, and tried to get Donald's hand off his mouth.

"I mean really how hard is it to stay quiet?"

"Gawrsh," said Goofy.

Sora tried to say something but it came out as a, "Mfffm! Mfffm!"

"Sora I'm going to take my hand off your mouth and you have to promise you will stay quiet," Donald said.

Sora nodded, and Donald took his hand off Sora's mouth.

"Finally!" Sora said aloud.

"SORA SHUT UP!!!!" Donald yelled, "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TRACK DOWN THE FAKE RIKUS IF YOU KEEP ON YELLING!!!!"

The two fake Rikus finally heard the trio yelling, and turned around.

"Oh NO!!! Riku they are gonna try and kill us!" One Riku said.

"Don't worry, I won't let them get you," the other said.

And on that note they ran.

"Hey their gettin' away!" Goofy said jumping around.

"Stop!" Donald yelled using a time freezing spell, stopping one of the Rikus.

Sora made some odd battle cry and sliced the frozen Riku right down the middle, within seconds he disappeared in a cloud of silver smoke.

"Hurry guys, we need to get the other one!" Goofy yelled running after the remaining Riku.

"Heeeey yoooooooooooooooooou!!!! Stoooooooooop!!!!" Sora and Donald yelled at the same time.

Just then a small mouse landed on top of the fake Riku, slicing him with his Keyblade.

"Huh?" Sora said scratching his head all confused-like as the remaining fake Riku disappeared just as the last.

"Your Majesty!!!" Donald and Goofy yelled.

---

"Marluxia, I'm glad I caught ya!" The skinny red head, who we all should know from pervious chapters, said running up to a man who was NOT AT ALL girly.

"Oh Axel!" The very manly man said shoving something behind his back. "Wh-What do you want?"

"Dude, where have you been!? I've been playing hide-and-go-seek with Roxas, and I can't find him ANYWHERE!!! Will you help me?"

"I was at the grocery store," the manly man said matter-of-factly.

"I-OH did you get some ice-cream?!?!" Skinny asked jumping around.

"No, you should have come with me."

"Humph, going to the grocery store is soooo boring! Anyways I could you help me look for Roxas I need you help and- Is that a flower?" The red head said pointing to the object that was behind the manly guy's back.

"NO!"

"Uh, yes it is. It totally is."

"I uh...I got it for...uhhhhh, Xemnas! Yeah that's right, I got it for Xemnas, 'cause he is doing research on flowers! And uh, he- he wanted me to buy him one...Yeah, that's right..."

"Whatever. Just help me find Roxas OK?" The red head said.

"OK, I just need to put this flower away," Manly said.

Skinny noticed that flower petals trailed behind his brown (with a tint of pink) haired acquaintance.

"What a pansy!" Skinny said walking away.

--

Written by molly. She always gets to write the good stuff. –pouts-


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Gawrsh," Goofy said, running up to the large-eared rodent who now stood over the sparkles of what had once been a somewhat creepy Riku clone.

"Your Majesty!" Donald cried running up to the King's other side.

As it was, the poor mouse ended up sandwiched between the two, who also managed to bump heads when they tried to give their king a big hug. King Mickey emerged from the violent hug bruised but otherwise unharmed.

"Hiya, fellas," He said. His Keyblade vanished in a cloud of sparkles and he waved.

"Hi!" Sora chimed.

"Sora!" Donald scolded, throwing a rock at Sora's head. "Show some respect! This is the _King_ you're talking too!"

"Yeah, because tackling him is _so_ much more respectful." Sora moped and rubbed his forehead. Donald growled and prepared another rock to chuck at the dimwitted Keyblade master, but the King spoke again.

"What are you guys doin' here?"

"We should be asking you the same thing, sir!" Sora cried, waving his hands around wildly. "I thought you and Riku were stuck in Kingdom Hearts!"

The royal mouse frowned and scratched at a large ear. "Yeah, we were. But then..."

"Then...?" The trio leaned forward, eager to hear the King's story.

"Then we got out."

The tio collapsed in disappointment.

"Details, sir! Details!" Goofy exclaimed.

The King laughed. "Well, gosh, let's see here..." He crossed his arms. "We were in the darkness... I was playing Solitaire, and Riku was on his laptop typing somethin' or another."

"He was IMing me!" Sora cried, giggling in excitement.

"I suppose he musta been, 'cause he stopped to ask me for a good 'your momma' joke." The King continued. "Now, I don't mean to brag, fellas, but I am the master of 'your momma' jokes. Why, I remember back in Radiant Gardens that wise guy and I used to-"

"Your Majesty!" Donald interrupted. "Focus!"

"Right, right. So, anyways, I came over to share my wisdom with Riku, when suddenly something walked by outside the window."

"There's a window in Kingdom Hearts?" Sora asked, confused.

"There's also a bathroom, a swimming pool, a refrigerator, a deck of cards, and a computer." The King held up his cards as proof. Each had a small heart on the back. "Anyway, we hurried over to the window, and saw the strangest thing!"

"What was it? What was it??" Donald screamed, shivering with excitement.

"It was..." King Mickey paused for dramatic effect. "An exact replica of Riku!"

"Ooooh!" The trio gasped in awe.

"Yes! And then more of 'em followed. There was a whole flock of Rikus, just outside our window!" The King shook his head sadly. "Then, they walked around the window and attacked. We managed to hold them off for a little while, but there were too many of them! There was only one thing that we could do!"

Everyone waited in tense silence.

"That's right! Riku pretended that he was one of the clones!"

"That's my Riku!" Sora cheered. "He's so smart!"

The King nodded. "It was a great idea, and the clones got so confused that they figured they musta killed the real Riku."

"Wow!" Our heroes exchanged looks of amazement before turning back to the King. "What happened then?"

"Then, the Rikus left. Well, I figured we should follow 'em, because we were trying to get outta there anyway. So, me an' Riku followed the clones, and we ended up back in Halloween Town."

"Wow," Sora wiped beads of sweat off his forehead. "What a story."

"Wait!" The King held up a hand. "I'm not finished yet!"

Sora stopped in mid sigh to listen to the mouse.

"Y'see, soon the Rikus all started actin' strange. They seemed, well..." he frowned.

"What?" Donald shouted. "What, your Majesty? What??"

"They seemed... horny, I guess." Kind Mickey shrugged.

"Gawrsh," said Goofy.

"And, before we knew it, they'd spotted the real Riku, do to his lack of an erection. They strapped the poor kid to a rocket and blasted him clear to another world! But, at the last second, I grabbed onto Riku's pants, and got shot off with him! And _that_, my friends, is how we got here."

"Gawrsh," Said Sora. Goofy frowned, confused.

"That's quite a story!" Donald exclaimed, waving his hands and filling the air with feathers. The King nodded, and took a deep draft from his Lion King water bottle.

"So, wait," Sora tapped his chin thoughtfully. "If you came here with Riku, then where-"

"Miiickeeeeeey!!" came a wailing cry from down the hall. The animals and Sora had barely a second to glance in that direction and see who it was before a familiar silver-haired someone tackled the King to the floor.

"Mickey Mouse, you big meanie!" Riku whined, pulling the mouse into a hug. "Don't leave me alone like that! You scared me, you adorable little thing, you!"

"Er..." King Mickey twisted uncomfortably in the boy's embrace.

"Riku!" Sora cried, jumping around in excitement. "Riku, is that really you??"

"Oh, hi, Sora." Riku said, standing up with the King still in his arms. "When did you get here?"

"Riku! I looked everywhere for you!" Sora wailed. "Guess what, Riku, we already killed-"

"Sora!" Donald squawked, grabbing the teen and yanking him down by the elbow. He lowered his voice. "Can I talk to you for a minute? _Alone_?"

Sora blinked. "Eh, OK. Be right back, Riku." He waved to his friend, who was too busy snuggling up with the King to notice.

"Wassup?" He asked, once he and the duck were a ways away from the trio.

Donald crossed his arms. "Sora, don't you notice something... _queer_ about this Riku?"

"Queer?" Sora frowned. "Like, what?"

"Like, he's acting just like the Riku clones!" Donald shouted, stomping his webbed foot against the castle floor. Sora turned to look at Riku. The boy was hugging the King defensively while shouting something to Goofy, who looked confused.

"I guess he is acting a little strange... but the King said that that was the real Riku!"

Donald shrugged. "He could have made a mistake, I guess. Even Kings make mistakes, Sora."

Sora shook his head. "That's hard to believe."

"Look," Donald said with a growl. "Let's just go ask the Riku a few simple questions, and then we'll determine whether he's real or not."

"Fair enough," Sora said with a nod. The pair walked back to their friends.

"You're just jealous of our relationship," Riku snapped at Goofy, hugging Mickey against his chest angrily.

"Eh... Gawrsh..." Goofy scratched his head thoughtfully.

"King Mickey?" Donald asked, standing up straight and saluting.

"Mm-hm?" the King said, his voice muffled a bit by Riku's clothing.

"Are you quite certain that this is the real Riku?"

The King leaned back a bit to get a better look at Riku. Riku smiled back. "Pretty sure."

Donald frowned and crossed his arms. At last, he turned to Sora. "Sora, ask Riku a question that only the real Riku could answer. Like, what games you used to play on the island, or what your favorite flavor of ice cream is, or something like that."

Sora grinned. "I know the perfect question, my vertically challenged friend!" Turning away from the fuming duck, Sora faced Riku with a determined look on his face. He glared, took a deep breath, and...

"Are you the real Riku?"

Riku blinked. He twitched. He squirmed. He tapped his foot and wiggled his ears. He looked at Mickey, who looked right back, and he looked at the ceiling, which didn't do much of anything. He took a deep breath, coughed, gagged, squeaked, and finally uttered one word.

"No."

Then, before Sora and his friend had a chance to do anything, Riku had dropped the King with a promise to come back for him and ran for it. Goofy and Donald could only stare dumbly at Sora, who stared dumbly back, for several seconds.

"Gawrsh." Goofy muttered.

"Um, uh..." Donald shook his head and pulled out his staff. "Get him!"

--

The long-haired blonde, who hasn't been in nearly as many chapters as he should be, gave a loud sigh as he looked over his notes. Try as he might, he could not figure out how the Riku Cloning Machine worked.

"I should've stolen the directions, too," He growled, crumpling several pages of notes in his fist and throwing them over his shoulder.

"Stolen? I thought you made the Cloning Machine," said a younger, spiky-haired blonde, who's head popped out of a crate behind the older man.

Long-hair glared for a moment, then turned around to call up the stairs. "Hey, Axel! AXEL! I found-!"

"OK, OK!" The boy dropped back into his hiding place. "You made it. I get it. Just don't tell Axel where I'm hiding!"

The older man smirked and turned back to his work, feeling oddly refreshed. He was going to make this thing work, and get himself an army of clones, before the night was through.

Of course, it was pretty much always night in the mysterious world in which he was studying, that never was. So it was sort of an empty promise.

But we learn to look around that.


	12. Chapter 12

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Twelve**

"Hey wait fella's!" The Disney mascot called after trio, as they raced after the fake Riku.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Sora wailed, skidding to a halt.

"You'll never catch him that easily! What you need to do is to set a trap!" Mickey stated.

"What kind of trap?" Goofy asked.

"What do you mean what kind of trap?" Sora asked his taller doggy friend.

"Well there are plenty kind of traps! Like digging a hole and coveren' it with leaves, or making a trap door, or a net, or-"

"Or a spiky pit of death, or a piano could fall on them, or you could-" Donald suggested.

"OR! You could set a string across the ground, when the person (meaning gay Riku clone) walks across, it will activate a wheel, that will cause a boot to hit a bowling ball, that will fall near a hamster on a wheel, the thud of the bowling ball with scare the hamster, and he will start running, the hamster running on the wheel will open a gate to an angry bear's cage, the bear will run out of the cage, and that will signal a team of ninja's to come and ATTACK!!!!!" Sora said pulling out a poorly drawn per made diagram.

Everyone was silent.

"Uhh, gosh, I was thinking more of... well, luring him into a trap. Ya know, put out something he cares a lot about and then ambush him...But what does that fake Riku care a lot about..." King Mickey said stroking his chin.

Goofy, Donald, and Sora exchanged looks, then they each put an evil grin on.

"Uhh, hey fella's what are ya doin' with that rope? Uhh, guys, Hey WAIT!!!"

---

"What are you all doing?!?! This is my secret lab!! MIIIIIIIIIINNE!!!!" A familiar girly man yelled to all eleven of his compadres.

"Cool your jets man, we're down here looking for Roxas," Skinny, the red head that has appeared in previous chapters, said.

"But you already looked down here!" Girly paused, "You ALL looked down here!"

"Yes that may be," a Mohawk-mullet creature said, "But Zexion came up with a good plan!"

"Yeah, I know I rock," the blue haired man from Chapter Seven said, "You don't have to remind me, Demyx."

"Well, go try it somewhere else! This is my lab!"

"I see you stopped calling it your 'secret lab'," the blonde chick, also from Chapter Seven, said.

"Shut your pie hole, woman!" Girly snapped.

"Hey, why are you calling her woman? I mean, you're a wo-" a big guy began, but was cut off by one of his companions.

"Lexeas, I don't think that's helping," the totally not girly guy from two chapters ago said, pointing to the girly guy, whose face was bright red.

"Look, just let us try it, and then we'll leave," The leader of the organization said.

"Fine," Girly pouted.

"Ahem," the leader cleared his throat, "ROXAS!!! IT'S YOUR TURN TO WASH THE DISHES THAT NEVER WAAAASSS!!!!"

"Never WERE!" The blonde kid in hiding corrected, popping his head out of the box he had hidden in.

"Found ya Roxas!" Skinny said pointing to his blonde haired friend.

"Damn!"

----

"OK guys, get into hiding!" Sora said to his lackeys.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy jumped in a conveniently placed hole.

"What now?" Donald asked.

"Ahem," Sora cleared his voice and did the best Mickey Mouse voice he could, "Riku! Riku help me Riku! It me Mickey Mouse!"

Sora giggled, Donald rolled his eyes.

"Sora that was the worst Mickey Mouse impression I have ever heard! Riku will never come!" Donald said.

"Hmm, maybe he's right Sora..." Goofy said scratching his chin.

"Let's just wait! He'll come!" Sora said nodding, "Don't worry your majesty! You'll get out of there in no time!"

Mickey would have groaned if there wasn't duct tape over his mouth. And he would have beaten the trio up and given them the meanest your mamma jokes, if he wasn't tied to a pole.

"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Came a familiar gay voice of fake Riku. "I'LL SAVE YOU MICKEY!!!!!!!" And with that fake Riku lunged for the poor mouse king.

"NOW!" Sora screamed and he Donald and Goofy jumped on the fake Riku.

"OK! We got him boys!" Sora said happily. He quickly got off Riku, as Donald and Goofy did their best to keep him on the ground.

"We are going to ask you a few questions Mr. Queer," Sora said bending down. "Let's start with how many Riku clones there are."

"Like I'm gunna tell you!" Fake Riku said sticking his tongue out.

"Then I guess you leave me no choice," Sora said getting up, "Answer the question, or the mouse gets it!" Sora said standing by poor old Mickey mouse, who was still tied to a pole.

"OK! OK! I'll talk! I'll talk!" Fake Riku said squirming around. "There are twelve! Twelve of us clones!!!!"

"Twelve? Sora we've already killed ten! That means there is only this one, and one other, and we'll have killed them all!" Donald exclaimed.

"Wow!" Sora said happily, "So, next question! Where did you come from? And how did you get to Kingdom Hearts?"

"Well, we came from a machine called **The Riku Cloner**. And then after about twelve of us came out the machine kinda broke down. Then we found a portal that took us to Kingdom Hearts."

--

"Vexen! Did you leave another portal open going to Kingdom Hearts?!" The silver head leader yelled.

"Oops," said girly.

--

"Wow, a portal? Cool!" Sora exclaimed.

Donald whacked the brunette across the head.

"Oww," Sora whined rubbing his head.

"Next question!" Donald snapped.

"Right, where's the real Riku?" Sora asked.

"I-I think he is here, and-and so is the other fake Riku!" Fake Riku said with a nodded of his head.

"OK, that's all we need know," Sora said acting a gangster like, and then sliced the fake Riku's head off.

"Yay! Riku's here! Riku's here!" Sora exclaimed happily, after fake Riku disappeared.

"Yeah, but so is the last fake Riku," Donald reminded him.

"Yes, _but_ Riku Is HERE!!!" Sora did the happy dance.

Donald sighed. Then Mickey started making a muffled noise and started squirming around.

"Don't worry your majesty! I'll save ya!" Goofy said running to Mickey Mouse.

He and Donald untied the king, and ripped the duct tape off his mouth.

"What were you guys thinkn'! Maken' me bait! Why I outta…!" Mickey said.

"But your Majesty! The Real Riku is here somewhere!" Sora said jumping around.

"Hmph," Mickey hmphed.

"RIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!" Sora called out, "RIIIIIIKUUUU, RIKU WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Sora, I doubt he can hear you," Donald said.

"SOOOOOOOOOOORA?!? SORA IS THAT YOU?!?!?!" Called a familiar voice.

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sora called out, "WHERE ARE YOU RIKU?!?!?!"

"Right behind you," Riku said calmly behind Sora.

"RIKU!!!!" Sora screamed, "I found you Riku I found you!!!!" Sora started to dance around.

"Uhhh, yeah…" Riku said.

"Well gosh Riku, where've ya been?" Mickey asked.

"Well," Riku began.


	13. Chapter 13

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Well," the girly man began, examining the Riku Cloner closely. "If I plug this wire here, and loop this wire around here, and tape this switch down here…"

"Or," said the voice of Jesse McCartney, behind him. "You could just plug it into the socket in the wall over there."

The older blonde spun around angrily to face the younger one. "Number Thirteen! What are you doing down here?"

The kid shrugged. "I came to annoy you. It's still Axel's turn in Chinese checkers, and-"

"GET OUT!" The scientist bellowed. He shoved his younger friend up the stairs and out the door. Once he stepped back into his secret lab, he glanced around to make sure no one was looking, and then plugged the machine in like the kid had suggested.

The machine whirred to life. The blonde felt a bit stupid, but he got over it when he flipped the large switch to "ON".

"Mua ha ha!" The man laughed girlishly. "This is it! Soon, I'll have a whole army of Riku clones at my-"

Just then, his leader popped his silver head into the room.

"-I, uh, I mean… at _the Organization's_ command! Mua ha ha!" The scientist continued to giggle as the Riku Cloner started to fill the small room with smoke. It was kind of hard to laugh properly with all that smoke, though, so the blonde turned on a fan.

A tall, muscled figure stepped out of the machine, his silver hair billowing in the wind, and his eyes watering when they got smoke in them.

And then the machine exploded.

--

Riku started to tell his story, but was interrupted when he let loose a huge sneeze.

"What's up, Riku?" Sora asked, looking worried.

"I dunno…" Riku glanced around the room, looking a bit paranoid. "I just got a sudden… chill…" The boy shivered.

"Well…" The King blinked. "Um, are ya gonna tell us what happened, Riku?"

Riku shrugged. "Well, your Majesty, I tricked the clones into thinking that one clone was the real me, and they blasted him off." Riku shook his head sadly. "But you went with _him_. That was one royal mess-up, your Majesty."

"Even kings make mistakes, Sora," Goofy said.

"Why does everyone keep telling that??" Sora snapped.

The King looked ashamed.

"Anyways, I figured I had to destroy all of the clones somehow, so I pulled up that really cool attack I used on Sora last time…"

"You mean that one where you shoot at me from everywhere at once??" Sora cried, pulling his brown hair from his head. "I HATE THAT FREAKING ATTACK!!"

Riku nodded proudly. "Yup, that's the one. And it works, right Sora?"

Sora screamed.

"Anyways, I was charging it up, but then the clones saw me. They pulled another rocket out of somewhere," Riku made a strange gesture with his hands. "And strapped me to it, and shot me here. And I've been looking for the King and the other clones ever since."

"Hm…" Donald hummed, tapping his foot against the stone ground.

"What is it, Donald?" Goofy asked.

"I'm a bit suspicious." Donald stated suspiciously. "How do we know that you're the _real_ Riku, and not the last clone?"

Sora gasped. Goofy gasped. The King gasped. Riku gasped. Riku with a moustache gasped.

"Wh-HUH??" Sora did a double-take. "Riku, where did you come from?"

The Riku with a moustache, who was standing next to the Riku without a moustache, waved.

"Bonjour, Sora." He said. "A Hollow Bastion, no?"

"Aw, man," Sora cried, burying his face in his hands. "How are we supposed to tell which one is the real Riku?"

"Gawrsh," Goofy said, looking from one Riku to another.

"Oh, come _on_, you guys! Stop joking around!" Riku without a moustache laughed nervously. "It's me!"

"No, je moi!" Riku with a moustache said.

"Gosh, fellas, I dunno." The King tapped his chin thoughtfully. "They both put up a good argument."

Riku's jaw dropped. Moustache Riku flexed his muscles.

"So, how do we tell?" Donald quacked, waving his hands in the air.

"Hmm…" King Mickey crossed his arms and looked at Sora. "Sora, ask them a question. A question that only the real Riku could answer."

Sora nodded and stepped forward. He looked both Riku's in the eye; moustache Riku smiled, and no moustache Riku looked shocked at Sora's new display of stupidity.

"Alright, I got it." Sora smiled and pointed the Rikus. "Which one of you is the _real_ Riku?"

Clean shave Riku smacked his forehead. Moustache Riku waved his hand in the air.

"Moi! Moi! Je Moi!"

"Alright, boys!" Sora turned to his compadres. "Get 'im!"

"Huh?" Riku looked up. "N-no, Sora! You guys! Hey, stooooooop-!"

The King, Donald, and Goofy piled on top of the 'clone', cutting his scream short. They gave Sora the thumbs up, which he returned before pulling out his Keyblade.

"Any last words, clone?" Sora challenged, aiming the giant key at clone Riku's head.

"Mmm mnmm cmmm!!" he said. The King had his face pressed to the ground, so it was a bit hard to understand him.

"What?" Sora asked, holding a hand to his ear.

"Mmm mnmm cmmm, Sm-mm!"

"Um…" Sora frowned. Then, without warning, he thwacked the Keyblade against Riku clone's silver head.

"Ow!" Said The King and the clone at the same time; Riku because his head had just been severely bruised by a giant key, and King Mickey because he'd been holding Riku's head down with his hand.

"Sorry, your Majesty." Sora said sheepishly. The King climbed off clone Riku to stand behind the rather destructive youth.

Sora took another swing at the Riku, clobbering him and the King once again by swinging a bit farther than he had intended.

"Sorry, your Majesty." Sora said again. The King stumbled away.

"I don't get it," Donald said, adjusting his position on Riku clone's back to get a better look at the half-conscious boy. "Why hasn't he disappeared yet?"

"C's 'm n'oa clo-ooone…" Riku said, spitting out several bloody teeth.

"Maybe I should try hitting him harder?" Sora asked. The clone shook his head wildly. Donald nodded. Sora swung again.

Several swings later, the terrific trio and the King were very confused, and the Riku with no moustache was reduced to a quivering pile of blood and bruises.

"What's with this guy?" Sora growled, throwing the Keyblade to the floor in frustration. It vanished with a splash of light and reappeared in his hand.

"Gawrsh." Said Goofy. "Maybe he's not disappearing 'cause he's the real Riku after all."

Donald shook his head. "No, he's not! We heard his confession; he said himself that he was a clone!"

The broken pile of Riku looked like it wanted to say something, but it only gave a sort of twitch before returning to its state of feeling sorry for itself.

Sora frowned. He tapped his chin in thought. "Hm… well, maybe we should just, like, hide him somewhere no one will be able to find him."

"Gawrsh, Sora, whaddya mean?"

Sora waved his gloved hands in the air. "You know, like the moon or Monstro's belly or Ansem's broom closet or something."

"Well, fellas," Said the King, stepping up to the group carefully, so as to avoid getting hit again. "We could always send him off in one of those rockets the clones all seem to carry around with them."

"Pure genius, your Majesty!" Sora crowed, slapping the King on the back. The mouse, caught unawares, toppled to the ground.

"Sora!" Donald squawked. "Stop beating up our king!"

Sora blushed.

"Gawrsh," said Goofy from where he was kneeling next to the bloody mass of Riku. "I don't see a rocket on him anywhere."

"Hm…" Sora rubbed his chin. "Where's your rocket, clone?"

Just then, moustache Riku held out a large rocket.

"Wow!" Sora said, taking the rocket. "Thanks a lot, Riku! We owe ya one!"

Moustache Riku shrugged and looked proud of himself while Sora and his friends started tying Riku's clone to the rocket.

"There we go!" Goofy said a few minutes later, dusting his hands off and stepping back to admire their work. Riku's body was wrapped so efficiently in rope that it was impossible to see anything except his head, which drooped pathetically onto his chest, and his feet, which didn't quite reach the floor.

"Alright, let's blast this bastard clear to Kingdom Hearts!" Sora cried, pulling out a box of matches. He struck one and held it against the string that stuck from the back of the rocket.

"Take off in ten!" Sora shouted, holding up ten fingers. "Nine!" he put one down.

"Eight!"

The Riku clone stirred. He opened his eyes fuzzily and shook some bloody hair out of his face.

"Seven!"

He blinked, took in his surroundings, and gave a scream of fury when he found himself strapped to a rocket.

"Six!"

"Wait! Wait!" The Riku shouted. "I'm the real Riku! I'm the real Riku!"

"Five!"

"Your Majesty!" Riku turned his head to face the King. "Your Majesty, you know it's me, don't you!"

"Four!"

The King crossed his arms and gave Riku a disbelieving look. The clone panicked a bit.

"No, no, wait! It's me! Really!"

"Three!"

"When we played Go Fish, in Kingdom Hearts, that one round when you left to go to the bathroom,"

"Two!"

"While you were gone, I…"

"One!"

"I cheated!"

The rocket exploded to life, and at the same moment King Mickey gave a gasp of shock and fury.

"I knew you cheated, Riku!" The King shrieked. "No one can beat me at Go Fish! I was taught by the master!" And, before Riku even had a chance to fly away, the mouse king jumped onto the rocket and blasted off with him.

"Y-Your Majesty!" Donald gasped, running to the spot where the rocket had just left.

"Gawrsh," Goofy said, pulling his fingers out of his ears. "What was that all about, d'ya think?"

Sora grinned and rested his hands behind his head. "No worries, guys. He just went to keep an eye on that clone." He gave his friends a reassuring smile before he turned to his _other_ friend, Riku.

"Man, what an adventure, huh Riku?"

Riku didn't say anything.

"Wassa matter, Riku? Heartless got your tongue?" Sora laughed at his own joke.

Riku scratched his nose. Sora gasped.

"WAITAMINUTE!" he spat, grabbing Riku's shoulders and pulling his mustachioed face closer. Riku felt beads of sweat form on his French forehead. Sora frowned and examined his friend's face closely. Then, with a shriek of horror, he pushed the clone away.

"YOU'RE NOT RIKU!" He screamed, pointing to the clone accusingly.

Goofy and Donald gave their friend a strange look. "Gawrsh, Sora," Goofy said, scratching his head. "How can ya tell?"

"Look!" Sora said, still pointing. "He looks completely different! The real Riku has a small bump on the bridge of his nose from that time I pushed him off the swings in the first grade!"

The Riku clone poked his nose which, over his handlebar moustache, was perfectly straight.

"GET'IM!" Sora screamed, and he and his friends leapt at the clone. Mustache Riku ducked just in time before he turned and ran. Sora and company didn't hesitate in giving the chase.

--

"Hey, your Majesty?"

"Mm-hm?"

"Sorry I cheated."

The King started to wave the boy's apology away with his hand, but he remembered just in time that he was holding onto the rocket for dear life. "It's OK, Riku," he said instead.

The boy nodded. After a moment, he said, "I sure am glad you recognized me, your Majesty."

"Oh, I recognized you from the beginning, Riku," The King lied.

"Really? Oh… then why'd you let that bonehead shoot me off in a rocket?"

"All part of the master plan, Riku."

"Oh." Several minutes passed in silence, save for the roar of the rocket as it tore its way through space. The King looked around, bored.

"Hey, look down there!" He finally shouted, remembered just in time (again) not to point. "It's another world! But, what's that on it?"

Riku turned his head as far to the left as he could to see where the King was talking about. "Looks like a castle to me."

"Hm." said the King. "I guess that's where we're headed."

"…Cool."

--

Several hours of searching later, Sora and his friends were forced to admit defeat. The clone had lost them in the labyrinth of the Hollow Bastion castle, and they hadn't been able to find him since.

"Damn," Sora said, snapping his fingers.

"I guess we shot off the wrong Riku, huh?" Goofy said.

"Oh, NO!" Sora screeched. He suddenly realized that he'd sent his best friend flying through space in a rocket, with nothing but a mouse to keep him company. Sora dropped to his knees and gave a long, loud wail of sorrow. "Rikuuuuuuu! I'm sorry, Riku! Please don't kick my butt!"

Donald patted Sora on the head. "Don't worry, Sora. Maybe we can find him on the Gummi Ship."

"And the King, too!" Goofy added.

"OK!" Sora jumped to his feet, his hope restored, and the trio scurried to their tried and true spaceship.


	14. Chapter 14

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Chapter Fourteen**

"At last!" Blondie cheered, "I finally have a Riku clone at my command!"

The Riku clone, which had been created in the explosion, started blankly into space.

"So, what evildoing shall we first?" Girly said rubbing his hands together evily.

Riku clone shrugged.

"Not very talkative are you?" Girly said dully.

Riku clone shrugged.

There was a moment of silence (that never was).

"Hey, so who are you paired with anyway?" Numbah seven asked.

"What makes you say I'm paired with anyone?"

Now Blondie, being to stupid blond he was, suddenly thought that that meant the clone was paired with him.

"LARXENE!!!!" He screamed.

"What?" the blond chick said walking down.

"Get Naminé to erase his memories ASAP!!"

"Uhh, ok, why?" she asked.

"Just do it!"

She shrugged, "Whatever."

"Wait, why are you erasing my memories…I barely have any!" Riku clone said.

"I want you to forget your gayness!" He spat.

"My what?"

"Your gayness," Blondie spat again.

"I'm not gay!"

"Yes you are!!!"

"How would you know!?"

Just then the blond chick and another blond chick, named Naminé, came down.

"You want him to forget his gayness?" The organization girl asked.

"Yes!"

"Err," Naminé fumbled around.

"Just do it!"

"OK!" Naminé said jumping.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Riku clone screamed.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!" Blondie screamed.

The blond chick and Naminé just looked at each other, then Naminé erased Riku clone's memory, and replaced them with memories that the real Riku would have, only with a lot more Naminé, and a lot less Kairi.

--

"So…" Sora said pressing his face against the window of the Gummi ship, "Where should we start looking for Riku and King Mickey?"

"Well," Donald said thinking, "I don't know…it depends on what way the rocket was heading?"

"I think it was headed west…Northwest?" Goofy said thinking.

"OK, so what is in that general area?" Sora asked.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…" Donald pondered that thought.

Sora pulled out a map, "Wow, if it went northwest, it went into uncharted land! Cool, we get to go into uncharted land!"

"Lets get goin'!" Goofy said.

--

"Where are all the worlds!!!???" Sora complained after sitting in the Gummi ship for over an hour.

"I don't know Sora," Donald said angrily.

"I guess there really isn't any uncharted land then is there? Just uncharted…space," Goofy said, a bit disappointed.

"Hmph!" Sora hmphed.

"Hey look at that!" Donald said pointing to some strange strip of land.

"What is it?! What is it?!?!" Sora said climbing on Donald to get a better look.

"It looks like…a path way?" Goofy said.

"Let's land there! Let's land there!!!!" Sora said jumping around.

"Get off," Donald muffled from under Sora's shoe.

As they prepared landed the ship a problem arose.

"Guys?" Sora asked jumping around.

"Jesus Sora, I knew you were exited but you really don't have to dance around," Donald said rolling his eyes, "I mean it looks like you have to…go…to…the bathroom…Sora I told you to go before we left!"

"I didn't have to go then!" Sora complained.

"Well there isn't a bathroom on this ship, so you'll have to hold it!" Donald said.

"But what if that world doesn't have a bathroom???" Sora asked getting worried.

"Don't worry Sora! It is in the galactic law that every world must have at least one port-o-potty!" Goofy said comforting Sora, who managed a small smile.

Sora was the first one out of the ship.

"Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom!" Sora mumbled looking around.

"GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYSSSS!!!!!" he hollered seconds later.

"What?" Donald and Goofy said at the same time.

"I don't see a bathroom!" Sora said falling over in defeat.

"What?!?!" Goofy looked around wildly. There was nothing but a long purple road leading into nowhere. "Hmph, that's a ticket right there!" Goofy said with a 'tsk'. He pulled out a notebook and wrote out a ticket, and stuck it on the ground. Meanwhile Donald started at Sora who seemed to be break dancing, trying not to wet his pants.

"Come on guys, I wonder how many other rules these guys are breakin'!" Goofy said marching off. Sora and Donald quickly followed.

After several hours of wandering around (and Sora trying not to pee his pants) the trio of idiots came to a small house that resembled a port-o-potty.

"There is a God!" Sora exclaimed running to the smelly port-o-potty. He opened the door and started to cry, and, once again, fell over in defeat.

"Sora I know you're happy, but don't you think your overdoing it?" Donald asked as he and Goofy walked up to Sora.

Sora merely pointed into the port-o-potty. Donald and Goofy peered inside. Inside there was a sign that read;

"If you were planning on using the bathroom, you are S.O.L.: Soooooo Out of Luck.

HA. HA.

-Love Org. XIII"

"The fiends!" Goofy exclaimed. Sora continued to cry.

"Where am I supposed to go to the bathroooom???" Sora wailed.

Goofy quickly wrote another ticket and stuck it to the door.

After several more hours of Sora trying not to pee his pants, and Goofy writing tickets and sticking them on rocks, the trio came to a biggggggggggg white castle.

"Whoa," Donald and Goofy said tilting their heads back. Sora would have done the same but he was on the ground trying oh so hard no to pee his pants.

"Hello," said a mysterious and so not girly voice from behind them.

"Whoa!" Donald and Goofy said. Sora jumped and wet his pants.

And so began the trio's journey through Castle Oblivion.


	15. Epilogue

**A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus**

**By Molly and Mandi Minamoto**

**Epilogue**

It was a beautiful day on Destiny Islands. The sun shone, waves crashed, and Kairi screamed when Tidus got ice cream on her cherished photo of her new beloved; a mysterious man by the name of Xemnas.

Sora and Riku, reunited at last, had settled themselves on Riku's favorite paupu tree to rest after an especially tiring session of sparring – a game which had gotten much more difficult recently, due to the pair's habit of summoning their Keyblades in the middle of a fight.

"Maaan, I'm beat," Sora sighed, readjusting himself on the tree. His hair, which had lightened considerably in the last year, tumbled into his face. He brushed it away lazily.

"Well," Riku said with a shrug. "I suppose it must be tiring to always lose to me."

"HEY!" Sora screeched, sitting up straight. Riku laughed. Sora, eyes narrowed, grabbed a handful of his friend's long hair and pulled.

"YEEARGH! SORA THAT'S A DIRTY TRICK AND YOU KNOW IIIIT!" Riku wailed, trying in vain to make Sora let go.

"You should'a got your haircut when you had the cha-ance!" Sora sang, laughing at his friend's helplessness. "You look like a gi-irl!"

"I do NOT!" Riku screamed, and with on last powerful wrench, he managed to free himself from Sora's grasp. He scuttled several feet away before he spoke again. "Besides, I didn't have time to get a haircut. I was too busy saving _your_ sorry ass!"

Sora growled. "I didn't need saving!" He whined. "I was doing just fine by myself!!"

"Ex-cuse me?" Riku asked in mock surprise. "If it weren't for me, who would've found Roxas and dragged him back to you? If it weren't for me, who would've saved you in Hollow Bastion? And who would've warned you about the monster in the Land of Dragons? And-"

"Alright already!" Sora yelled. He hmphed and crossed his arms. "Well, I know that _I_ saved _you_ when the King and everyone made the mistake of leaving us behind back in Xemnas' Kingdom Hearts."

Riku shrugged. "Even kings make mistakes, Sora."

There was a moment of silence. After a few minutes, Sora spoke up.

"Hey, Riku? Have you told me that before? Only, it sounds kind of familiar…"

Riku frowned. "Y'know, I was just gonna ask you the same thing. It's like, whaddya call it…?"

"Déjà vu?" Sora suggested.

"Yeah, that's it! And…" Riku frowned, rubbing his chin. "I dunno, I'm remembering something… like, a rocket…?"

"Woah, really??" Sora gasped. "This is so weird! I remember that too, but what is it…?"

The boys looked at each other, each deep in thought.

Riku thought that maybe Sora was remembering something from inside Castle Oblivion. The silver-haired teen knew for a fact that Naminé had erased all of Sora's memories of that particular journey, but he didn't recall DiZ telling him anything about kings making mistakes or rockets. Hmm…

Sora, meanwhile, was thinking that maybe something had happened to Riku during his time wandering in the darkness, and Ansem – that is, Xehanort's nobody – had somehow erased those memories. But what could've happened to Riku that included rockets and kings and mistakes? Hmm…

Just then, both boys heard something rustling behind them. They spun around just in time to see someone jump off the island and into the water. Without hesitation, they rushed to the edge, but the mysterious person had disappeared.

"Did you see that??" Sora gasped.

"Yeah, but I didn't get a good look at who it was…" Riku said, rubbing his chin. "I'd say it was Selphie, except I think that whoever it was had a moustache…"

"Really?" Sora frowned. "I thought it might have been Tidus, except I heard him say something…"

"What did he say??" Riku asked eagerly.

"I dunno, I couldn't understand him," Sora shrugged. "I think he was speaking Canadian or something."

The boys looked at each other, and saw their own confusion mirrored in the other's face.

"Do you think… we should just forget about all this?" Sora asked slowly.

"Yeah… it's probably nothing," Riku forced a laugh. "So, Sora, what's this I hear about you vandalizing the Secret Place with pictures of paupu fruits?"

Sora spluttered, and his face turned bright red. "Th-th-tha-that's… th-tha-!"

Riku laughed and ran across the bridge. Sora didn't hesitate in following, yelling furiously at his best friend.

--

Below, Kairi looked up from her photo and saw a very strange sight. A person was rising out of the water, spewing salt water and shaking his silver hair and black moustache dry. He saw Kairi watching him and gave a small wave before he pulled a rocket out of nowhere, lit it, and flew away.

Kairi stared. She was shocked, confused, and a little freaked out. That guy had looked kind of familiar, and she _thought _he was wearing Riku's old pants.

For some reason, Kairi suddenly remembered the day almost a year ago, when Sora and told her that he was on a Riku killing spree and had to find the real Riku. At the time, she'd brushed it off, assuming that Sora was just being a freak like always, but now…

A strange feeling grew from inside her. It was oddly foreign, as if someone inside her who may have had blonde hair and a passion for drawing had felt it, and somehow transferred that feeling to her. Kairi frowned, confused by this strange feeling, but there was no denying it.

She felt as if she had done Riku and Sora, as well as that mysterious man with the moustache, a huge favor.

Kairi sighed and stood up. She didn't know what was going on and, honestly, she didn't really care. All she cared about was cleaning off her photo so that she could stare at Xemnas' face without having to squint around chocolate blobs. She started walking towards her boat so that she could take the picture home and properly clean it, but froze when she felt a strange _crunch_ beneath her feet.

She looked down. Underneath her pink shoe were the squashed remains of a glass bottle, similar to the one she'd used to send Ansem a heartfelt love note not too long ago (that was before she'd met Xemnas, of course). And inside it was a rolled up piece of paper, with what looked like King Mickey's seal on it.

Kairi picked up the letter and stared for a minute. Then, she tore off down the beach in search of Riku and Sora. This could very well be the start of a whole new adventure.

Or maybe not.

**The End**


End file.
